Counselor Patrick Doyle of Veritas Counseling discusses what your behavior reveals about you.
I just wanted to say THANK YOU to The Dove TV, and Patrick Doyle.
I did not endure the level of abuse that Patrick did, not even close.
My family was highly functional. Nice house. Nice people. Always plenty of
friends and family around.
But as a middle child, and the oldest daughter in my family, my older brother
got away with everything and was favored by my mom. My dad was never
around, but when he was, he was my defender…
Responsibility Teflon – that’s my oler brother and younger sister.
Responsibility Velcro – that’s me and my little brother.
Somehow, my little brother & I were blamed for everything. At least my dad defended
me when he was around. My little brother, on the other hand had it worse. He went
to go live with my dad who had remarried a very mean woman, who was a widow with 4 kids of her own.
The step family has emotionally abused my little brother his whole life. My dad let it happen.
Then I went and married a guy who was responsibility teflon.
He hit me when I was pregnant, and I left him and moved back home to get back on my feet.
Trouble was, my family didn’t see anything wrong with my husband’s behavior,
and they were not supportive of the divorce. They treated me and my son poorly
for a year before I couldn’t take it anymore, and I left there too.
I felt like the woman in the Bible who was getting stoned. People just join in, and
pick up a rock to throw at an easy target. It’s like a pack mentality.
The whole experience left me very confused, and isolated and it shook my entire belief structure.
Everyone else had lots of friends and family support. Not us. I drew the conclusion that it was me who was in the wrong.
My son is 17 now. We’ve struggled his whole life, financially and without much of a
I tried to fit in at several churches, and it seemed that maybe because I was desperately
in need of a support system, that the desperation showed too much, and people turned
the other cheek. (pun intended). We never felt like we fit in.
Now that he is practically grown, I finally have the time and energy to start dealing with
all the things I had to “stuff” over the last 18 years, in order to stay afloat. My mom and
dad have passed away in the last 2 years too, and I no longer feel like I have to keep the
peace to honor them. It’s not just about my kid growing up.
I’ve listened to ALL the Patrick Doyle videos I can find. Multiple times.
I’m finding healing, thru listening to them.
For years, I’ve felt like the crazy one. Wondering why I’ve been unable to get past so many things
that had happened.
For years, I’ve tried to figure out what exactly God meant, when He talks about forgiveness.
In my family – I was expected to “forgive and forget”, but that meant putting myself back into
a hurtful situation over and over again. Which I have done for years to “keep the peace”.
Anyway, listening to Patrick Doyle speak about offense, forgiveness, conviction, repentance and reconciliation has given me a path.
An understanding, and a strategy for having a healthy relationship with my siblings, but also being ok with NOT having one, if it can’t be a healthy one.
I’ve listened to the videos over and over again, because it’s such a radical way of thinking about forgiveness, I get a little more understanding each time I listen. It’s like I’ve known something was wrong with my definition of forgiveness for a very long time, but I could never articulate it or find anyone else articulate it like Patrick does.
I still don’t fully understand how forgiveness is between me & God, vs me & my siblings.
But I no longer feel like I’m a bad person because of my inability to “forgive & forget”.
I just want to say a great big THANK YOU!
I want to find the weather for in °C°F .